For The First Time Ever The ESPYS Are Actually Going To Be Worth Watching

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By Cody McClure

There’s a first time for everything, as they say, and the ESPYS are finally set to be a must-see TV event.

I can’t think of any sporting event — or sporting-related event — that I’ve ever been least interested in in my life.

The ESPYS have long been to me just not at all worth watching. Completely useless. Boring.

That brings up an entirely different discussion of what the most boring sports/sportsish events are. Is there something that everyone cares or pretends to care about that you just completely avoid?

The Kentucky Derby also comes to mind for me. And anything tennis-related. But that’s just me.

Nobody can be fully focused on the entire sports calendar. Gotta take some time off somewhere or another.

But yeah, the ESPYS have always just kinda sucked. But as Bob Dylan once said, times they are a-changing.

It was announced today that Shane Gillis, who is arguably America’s most popular active comedian and a close personal friend of mine, will be hosting this year’s event.

How fun this is going to be. After all these years of generic sports figures and woke bullshit, ESPN is steering in the right direction.

The funny direction.

I mean look at these last few hosts:

• 2024: Serena Williams — BORING

• 2023: None — BORING

• 2022: Steph Curry — BORING

• 2021: Anthony Mackie — WHO?

• 2020: Russell Wilson, Megan Rapinoe, Sue Bird — JESUS CHRIST

I’m a big Gillis guy for two reasons.

A: because I met him and he was nice to me and let me drink from his personal Bud Light stash.

And B: because I saw him do stand-up before he was famous and I thought then he was an emerging killer.

I still won’t care who wins these bogus awards, but for the first time in my life, I WILL be watching.

The ESPY awards take place on ABC Wednesday, July 16th at 8 p.m. ET in Los Angeles.

Check out Shane Gillis pissing off Nick Saban with an incredible “Alabama Jones” riff: