Ten Things I’d Rather Do In Nashville Than Watch Diego Pavia Play Football

Image: Nashville Party Bus Guide

By Cody McClure & Sam Beard

Vanderbilt quarterback Diego Pavia said on a podcast recently that Vandy was about to run the state of Tennessee in football.

"Vanderbilt's gonna run Tennessee after this year," Pavia said on Bussin’ With The Boys. "Like, this is going to be the new staple of college football. It's going to happen here at Vanderbilt."

Yeah, sure. Good luck with that, NERD!

"Everyone wants to come to Tennessee because of Nashville," he continued. "So they want to come to Nashville, so Vanderbilt, and then when we have, like, the most money in NIL, why not come here? We literally just have to win this year and throughout the rest of the year will take care of itself."    

NERD! Vanderbilt Football isn’t even a top 25 attraction in the Music City.

Here are 10 things we would rather do in Nashville than watch Diego Pavia play football.

NERD.

1. Get Pancake Pantry remnants puked on us from the Big Drag Bus above as we direct pedestrian traffic at 4th & Broadway.

2. Tape hundred-dollar bills to our nude bodies at 3 a.m. on the corner of Trinity Lane and Brick Church Pike.

3. Ride a pedal tavern sober with eight 275-pound plus woo girls wearing pink hats (she ain’t a lady if she ain’t over 280).

4. Stand in line at the mural in The Gulch and then immediately stand in line at Biscuit Love.

5. Go to an expensive steak dinner covered by Grant Frerking only to be left with the tab as he abandons the party.

6. Be trampled by a police horse in front of Morgan Wallen’s bar as an Arabian cab driver honks at us.

7. Pass out pro-choice flyers inside the Kid Rock bar to drunk patrons while they swing their colostomy bags.

8. Eat the hottest chicken at Bolton’s, take some laxatives, and then give a tour at The Hermitage emphasizing how proud “we” are of our history here on these grounds.

9. Take a shit on the steps of The Parthenon while screaming that Athena is our biological mom.

10. Go into Robert’s Western World and ask them to sub the fried bologna for tofu.